Spike your monkey

A few weeks ago, I realised that Mark&Spencer was a lot hornier than I had ever thought when I discovered they were selling chocolate penis to our children.

This time my bewilderment came from Tesco.

Trolling down the fruit and vegetable aisle, my eyes got caught by these amazing bananas. Call it a vicious mind, maybe, but where is the fun in bananas? The graphic on the label tends to suggest some kind of a deviant usage: ride the banana is to enjoy them...

And remember, this is part of the five-a-day diet. After all, if you don't have a boyfriend, thanks to Tesco, every little helps!