Chopping the carrot

Obsessive thoughts

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you are probably aware that my twisted mind tends to pick up weird combinations of food and sex. Where the British see harmless chocolates, I get good laughs about Mark&Spencers selling mini dicks on their shelves. Where Tesco thinks promoting bananas, I see encouragements for some playful (fruitful?) foreplays... That is the problem with French people, we are obsessive with what made our reputation. So imagine what happens when you had football to this explosive duo!

One step too far?

But I reckon that this obsession can be contagious and to certain extent...dangerous to the one not in the know. I indeed came across an article on the BBC website that reveals the story of some guy who, entering a restaurant, started mutilating himself with the kitchen knives. After several attempts, he eventually managed to chop his own penis off. Disgusting experience for the customers, especially for the veggies who had managed to stay away from the chipolatas on the menu...

But there is also a pinch of fun in this butchery. The dreadful event occurred in a specific restaurant that shades a very different light on the circumstances. The Italian restaurant the man chose for his self-amputation is part of a chain called Zizzi. Most of the French-speaking readers will start grinning by now. Is there more appropriate a place to cut your penis off than a restaurant called Zizzi... Especially when you know that in French this name signifies literally "willy"!

So, to cut a story... short, if I strongly recommend my readers to have French and cuisine classes, I also encourage each of you to avoid revising your exams the same day. Confusions could be painful.

Democratic marathon

On your marks, get set...

The heat is on. The sweat is pearling down faces. Thousands of contestants lining up into what seemed to be endless flow of human beings. And then finally 2h30 later the finish line, accompanied with the relief and joy of having achieved quite something unusual...


2h30' could have been quite a decent time if I were referring to a Marathon performance. But while some of the world most daring athletes were beating the tarmac, thousands of French voters were making their way to the voting box.

French Diaspora

If you live in London, and have ever walked through the South Kensington or Chelsea boroughs you are probably very aware of the great density of French citizens on the British soil. In fact, estimations evoke something along the lines of 300,000 Frenchies in the UK, of which 60% concentrate in Greater London. This means that UK capital is one of the ten first French cities in the world!!!

So imagine the entire population of a city the size of Derby converging in a few hours to a single point just to drop their ballot. You simply end up with a tremendous queue of cheese-lovers sharing their doubts about the political future of their country. Queuing is indeed a sort of national sport (well, in fact queue-jumping is).

So comparing voting with a marathon is anything but awkward, especially when both events are simultaneously happening in London. The major difference? Well, we are to go through the same efforts a second time in two weeks! Now, this is sport, isn't it?

So French.

Flip the coin.

France. The haute-couture, the riviera, the chic, the culinary arts, the champagne... But also its country-side, its gruesome farms, its striking labour forces, its kinky cancan dancers, its smelly cheeses!

Our country is Janus-like and these TV commercials for the poultry brand, Le Gaulois, capitalise on these two sided stereotypes. I must admit that I find the first one a bit basic, little appealing, and not very creative. However, I really like the second one as it works with an elliptical mechanic.

100% French chicken.

Some clarifications for the readers who have not been immersed in the favourable labour legislation. RTT stands for Recuperation du Temps de Travail (Recovery of Working Hours), and are days-off that are given to employees who cannot effectively work the legal 35-hour week. In other words, as a compensation to the extra hours that you spend behind your desk, you get a day or so per month.




The RTT have modified in-depth the life of the French workers. Imagine that you suddenly get 12 more days-off per year (my dear Canadian friends, with your mere 5 days, you must be dreaming of such a benefit, especially since they come on top of the regular 25 days!). Honestly, you rapidly get used to it... But how to spend them?

Busy free time.

Recent researches have demonstrated that my fellow-citizens have completely revised their approach of holidays since the RTT. Instead of opting for a 3-week long break in the summer, they tend to favour three-day long week-ends throughout the year. Obviously such a trend had a drastic impact on holiday resorts who have seen their profitable long-stay fall. On the other hands, hotels and tour operators have been developing new packages to cope with this new demand: three days in Rome, 4 days in Dordogne, 3-day induction to paragliding...

French (chicken) are no longer nesting at home: they have more spare time and intend to spend it well. It has become a full-time job to plan your free time, especially if you are not in the office on Fridays because of your RTT!

Mac-Tendo

Don't play with you stick...

I few days ago I wrote about the imminent release of the PS3... Now the heat is on among the video game aficionados. And the viral activity around each product is at its best. In fact, there seems to be some in-depth trends among the gamers about the benefits of each console. It tends to remind most of us the cultural rivalry between Apple and PCs...

Well don't wait any longer, because if you enjoyed the recent Get a mac campaign, you will love the following:

Jamie Oliver meets Beastie Boys

Music used to come from garages. Now it is mixed in the kitchen with proper blenders... Enjoy.